Yay 4 performances down~

Thanks to those who prayed for me...

I was actually ill yesterday and really struggled hard to wake up this morning. Felt significantly better today despite having so little sleep...

Thank God for strength and healing! :)

Performance this time was kinda different because there wasn't a conductor. It felt weird having no one to look at lol... So I looked around. For some reason, I like to smile at people on stage, I think they look too serious and I need to feel 'grounded' to remind myself that I'm on stage...

For if you know me, I'm always lost in my own world hahaha. Especially recently, I find myself keep staring into space when there's no need to think... I think my mind is malfunctioning. Haha.

I'm kinda zonked out now.

But I gotta do a case study tonight on a patient. Gotta link a lot of things together... Symptoms, disease(s) investigations, treatments, medications, anticipated problems and nursing care...

How how...

Lazy to go back hostel too...

*shrug*

..... .... ... .. .

I think nursing students are sick of answering "Why do you join nursing?"

So much so that I find myself simply answering "Cos I like." as time goes by.

However, today someone asked me a question which caught me off-guard and speechless for a while.

"Is it a satisfaction for you to wipe people's buttocks?"

Honestly, is that the first thing you think about at the mention of the word "nurse"? It's pardonable since I think a large majority of people don't know what nursing actually is.

Think about it, there must be a reason why diploma, advance diploma and degree are offered for nursing.

Nursing involves the physical, psychological, emotional, cultural, spiritual welfare of a patient. It is both an art and science.

Hence, when I say I like being a nurse, it means I find joy in playing a role in every component of nursing. :)

*Shrug* But maybe not the case study later... Lol...

I woke up this morning feeling LOST. Didn’t attend soundcheck and Indo meeting… I think I desperately needed the rest. So I went to JP to walk around and was tempted to buy a soft toy for myself. =/

I’ve been thinking a lot about my patients, the treatments they are going through, the medications they are taking and so forth. I wonder if they actually need those?

The number 1 complaint that I received thus far is the adverse side effects of drugs and treatments. More common ones are drowsiness, headaches, diarrhoea, fatigue, vomiting, nausea and loss of appetite.

They may seem minor to us, but imagine it being long term, and very often patients exhibit more than one of those symptoms at once. Most of them are well into age too. 

Would they be better off without the treatments?

Are the treatments doing more good or harm?

Many times in a hospital, a patient does not have a say in how they would like to be treated. They become submissive and passive recipients. After all, the doctors and nurses know what is best for them right?

I hope that as people become more educated, they would eradicate that perception. I believe that a patient still knows best what is good for their own body. There is no one method/treatment/medication which fits all.

I have patients telling me how a drug is useless and not effective for them. But they have to take it because it’s in the freaking doctor’s order. Doctors have the final say right.

Please bear in mind that they are not GOD, they don’t know a lot of things too.

SO, I’m hoping, in future, patients will be a more active participator of their own healthcare. Knowledge = power.

Know that even as a patient, you have many rights.

Question the doctors and nurses of their rationales behind interventions. Challenge them.

But in a kind way please hehehehe. 

….. …. … .. .

Gotta prepare for later performances now…

加油加油。。。

   

Everybody wants a piece of me
I just don't know where to turn

- Corrinne May "Little Superhero Girl"

 

Have been feeling like that recently.

Canceled piano lesson today because I reckoned I'd just be wasting my teacher's time and mine.

Attachment has extinguished much music inspiration. If you notice, I don't even talk about it anymore.

Went for "Songs of Solomon" bible study @ EXPO instead. Awesomeness. It was like going to a petrol station for refill.

Haven't been attending orchestra rehearsals for 2 weeks already. And to think I have 4 performances this weekend... No amount of prayer will help if one doesn't practise. Period. :(

Might have to miss my Indo meeting later in the morning for soundcheck @ EXPO. More like rehearsals for me.

I dunno.

My guard has been up for the longest time. Been sick a few times, but just gotta hang on and persevere...

2 more weeks to end of attachment. I might just crumple after that. When my guard is down, when my body lets loose, who knows what suppressed symptoms might manifest themselves. *Shrug*

Like a soldier, he may injure himself during a war, only to realise it after the war, when he starts to feel the pain.

 

At the end of the day,
after all's been said and done,
I still love nursing. :)

I guess we can't run away from our calling.

First afternoon shift in a hospital.

Though I'm so a night person, I prefer morning shifts. At least my day seems longer.

Witnessed a lumbar puncture today.



Patient has to be in this position.



Click on picture to enlarge for more details.

It was my first time witnessing such a procedure and unfortunately, it wasn't a good experience. Since we can't say anything bad in regards to the hospital and everything inside, I shall not talk about the doctors.

Let's just say my already bad impression of them was made worse.

So disturbed by their attitudes, I was almost in tears.


..... .... ... .. .


I was thinking, if I were to become critically ill one fateful day,

1) I would sign an Advance Medical Directive (AMD) form,
2) I would request for no medical students to attend to me (Patient's right) and
3) I would sign a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) form upon several unsuccessful attempts to save me.

Haha please just leave me alone.

@ hostel.


Dramatic day @ the hospital.

7.30am - 8.30am
Did a bed bath for a patient who couldn't move and was on a non-rebreathable mask, gasping for air.
Patient was running a fever and had many superficial wounds, with body fluids leaking out of arms.


After lunch at 1.30pm
Discovered that patient had passed on.

2.30pm
Performed a Last Offices procedure with preceptor, where we cleaned up the body with respect and dignity and prepared the body to be sent off. My first time!

..... .... ... .. .

Just this morning, I was telling my friends that we gotta be mentally prepared to do a Last Offices anytime. My instinct told me that someone was gonna pass on soon, but I didn't expect it to be that soon.

Really thank God for His grace and strength which saw me through. That couldn't have been me.

. .. ... .... .....

After duty, I went swimming with my friends hahaha. Happy that I advanced to the big pool! And my frog style is improving lol... I never knew how to swim the right way by the way... And to think that my best friend is a swimming coach and lifeguard. HAHA..

We swam for a good 1.5 hours and well, gained much calories thereafter. :)




A big kick to start off the week.
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

Happy Birthday to Mon on a Mon-day!!! =P

@ home.

I don't know what to say.

My life is flooded and I'm almost drained. Juxtaposition? =P

It is another crazy week next week.

On top of attachment from Mon to Fri,
Wednesday - Orchestra Prac (Can't go)
Thursday - Orchestra prac (Jurong)
Friday - Piano (Jurong) + bible study (Expo)?
Saturday - Indonesia meeting (NUS) + Performance (Expo)
Sunday - Service cum performance (Expo)

It seems like a great mountain ahead, but I'm determined to conquer it. At least I'm loving everything that I do. :)

 

*Your light in me, I'll let it shine.*

Here I am again. :)

3rd day @ NUH.
Getting the hang of the routine and orientation of the hospital.
It was a peaceful day at the ward, nothing dramatic happened.

Pricked 3 fingers for blood glucose monitoring , took an ECG reading and pulled out an IV tube from a wrist. Hope to do more interesting stuff tmr. :) Though of course I hope my patients are well and recovering. Haha.

I'm alone in my hostel tonight again! My roommate's schedule was changed so she didn't have to report tmr. Love the serenity at night but it can be rather dangerous for a girl since there're so few people staying during the holidays. Moreover the washroom is quite a distance from my room and best of all, it has no lock. So any Tom, Dick or Harry can hide inside!!!

But I'm :) :) :) :) :) tonight.
Excited about my attachment and holiday after that. :)
Wishing for Christmas too. Lol...

@ King Edward Hostel now
My roommate won't be staying in tonight muahaha.

Happy that I don't have to travel much! Except there are a lot of stairs to climb since my hostel is on a hill. Lol. I might as well just roll down if I'm late.

2nd day @ NUH.
Learnt much, seen much.
Been posted to an Oncology ward.
Cancer + blood disorder.

Sigh, the adverse effects of radiotherapy and medications.
Wish I could share it here but I think we're not allowed to.
So ask me!


It's mentally draining though, to be constantly under observation by the patients and nurses, to be/act professional once I put on my uniform, to absorb the vast amount of infomation and activities going on.

Though I wish we could do more stuff to keep my brain stimulated in the morning.

Btw, my morning shift is from 6.55am - 3pm (-.-zzZ)and afternoon 1pm - 9pm (Entire day gone).

Thanks to someone who reminded me to do everything unto God. Which reminded me the reason why I joined nursing - to be a light in a world of darkness.
Yea keep reminding me!


Went swimming after duty today and knocked my head against the side while I swam backwards. HAHAHA how brilliant.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
:)

Polyclinic attachment down.
Performance down.
Indo meeting down.

Crush them and throw into the bin.

Coming up:

4 weeks of attachment @ NUH + staying in NUS hostel.

They are so efficient, our schedule is not out yet. It frustrates those who has some life out of nursing.

 

God, please fast forward the 4 weeks, strengthen me and increase my capacity.

And multiply my pathetic holiday.

Think I’m on the verge of breaking down…

This week has been and will be ridiculous.

Weekdays are spent in Jurong Polyclinic with nights for other commitments…

And now I’m doing some Asthma ppt slides for tomorrow’s presentation. Gonna do a reflection for the past 3 days at the polyclinic later too…

Before I can “TGIF”, I have piano lesson and makeup cg to go. I haven’t freaking practised my piano for ages.

And before I can happily herald the arrival of the weekends, I have orchestra performances at EXPO and my Indonesia trip meeting from 1pm-8pm on both sat and sun.

My week will be concluded with a quintet performance @ Esplanade with my orchestra friends. 2 hours of sitting back and relaxing.

Follow by 4 crazy weeks @ NUH.

It’s not surprising for me to start losing things and forgetting stuff. Pardon me. I hate that too.

Today marked the first day I stepped into a Polyclinic. We were freezing inside! It wasn't particularly crowded today, at least not what my impression of a polyclinic crowd was.

The 5 of us were allocated to a room each where we observed how nurses worked. My room was more of chronic care management, where patients go in for consultation on how to take care of themselves and improve their conditions... (Eg: Asthma, Diabetes...)

So basically, I heard how the patients were dealing the with disease and how the nurses counseled them.

There was a diabetic man who was feeling rather helpless and frustrated, because despite altering his diet and taking medication, his blood sugar level was still very high. He was describing how his diabetic friends could freely eat what they liked and how he'd refrain from going out with his friends and family for meals. How their doctors didn't 'scold' them but yet his doctor was very strict with him...

The nurse told him his condition was probably due to the genes. Maybe...

Most of them should have this little device which helps them to monitor their sugar level at home. I did that for some patients last semester, and quite enjoyed pricking their fingers HAHA. Morbidity.

We had also witnessed a toddler's vaccination process. Ooo how it sent shivers down my legs. The child was cryingggg as if she was about to be sacrificed. After the jab, she waved goodbye to us in the midst of crying. LOL.. So cute!

Muahaha.
I hate to be jabbed too.
But I think I'd need a Typhiod jab soon for my Indo trip... Argh...

That's about all today, we were rather free. My friends at TTSH are DYING........... Intimidated and overwhelmed. Heard that it's more stressful than the entire semester. Wonder how NUH would be like!!!

I'm anticipating yet apprehensive.

Taking one day at a time.

 

P.S: Happy you're home! :)

WHAT SIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ATTACHMENT @ JURONG POLYCLINIC will commence TOMORROW.

Got the news earlier today.

And that kinda destroyed my wonderful plans for this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh sigh sigh.

Gotta psyche myself up again...

Cheated my feelings!!!

=\

Life of a nursing student.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just watched "Wolverine" with Matt. Much testosterone. Nice bods. Not much of a storyline though.

So cool. Wiu~ :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear God, please help me through this week. I don't really know how...

Latest news:

Students going to all hospitals except NUH, AH and CGH gotta start attachment NEXT WEEK.

Ok the flu is really playing with our feelings... The wonders of what little micro-organisms can do! Great teamwork I'd say.

Anyway, my 4-week attachment will commence the following week @ NUH. Not sure about the 1 week @ Jurong Polyclinic yet...

But in the meantime, no one is to go out of Singapore. Or make any plans yet... So I shall make full use of next week to tour Singapore... (I haven't even been to many places here!!! =X)

My school email is flooded with messages about the flu!!!!!!!! Especially nursing announcements.. So many to delete! Haha.

Gotta be so flexible in the healthcare 'industry'... It's like having our lives revolving around it... But hmmm... Doubt I'll compromise my family for career in future...................

Ok this is called far-sightedness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Highlight of the day: Concert @ Esplanade.

Sigh, due to miscommunication, my conductor reserved TWO tickets for me! When I only needed one for myself. So what to do with the other one?! I actually went out of the concert hall, before it started, to try to give it away to anyone!

I asked 3 people, but they couldn't, so it was just too bad.

And too bad someone is so far away...

So anyway, that was the 3.5th time (and counting) that I watched a concert alone hahaha. Nice to indulge freely in my own world, especially since it's after exams.

It was quite an interesting experience chatting up and sitting beside an American who happened to be some director of NUS Research Center of Excellence (RCE) in Bio Science (Maybe Yang will work with him in future...?) And maybe he has something to do with the "Genes and Society" module (Somebody's favourite lol...) which I just took? 

God I really need a good break away from anything related to NUS...

Waha.

Anyway happy that Wang Jian played Bach - Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major (The advertisement song...) as an encore piece hehehehe...

Him :)

Happy that 3 storybooks (finally) are waiting for me to read muahaha... Next week!!! :)

Happy holidaysssssss!!!!!!! :)

Just came back from porridge @ Chinatown with Matt!

EXAMS are OVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

My cells are all dancing for joy! :D
It's like being set free from chains and shackles.

Upcoming plans -

1) Meeting my jc friend later in TOWN for some shopping and bimbotic fun HAHA...

Was contemplating if I should go for Wang Jian's cello masterclass, but the thought of going back to school.... Eww. I know it's WANG JIAN but I seriously need to do some mindless things now to rejuvenate haha.

2) Friday: Piano lesson, meeting schoolmate at music library, assessment on how to wear PPE and Wang Jian's concert @ Esplanade... Quite an eventful day.

3) Saturday: CG + spring cleaning at home! (Make sure I'll do that!!!)

4) Sunday: Service + Orchestra rehearsal

 

FREE next week! Ask me out!

 

Latest news

1) Attachment is CANCELED due to the PIG flu... Sian. Messed up my holiday plans... Was so looking forward to being a nurse again... Awaiting further notice for now.

Hope my Indonesia trip with the nurses will not be canceled...

2) Orchestra will be performing with the choir next weekend @ Expo.

3) Those under 25 will be performing for Emerge...

4) :) + ? = ?

 

P.S: Have fun in HK, take care and miss me! =P Hahaha...

Though I’m in the midst of exams, I’m very happy recently! :)

1) Felt prompted to read the bible before I slept, glad I obeyed and was extremely touched by God. That though I haven’t prayed or spoke about an issue which has been provoking me recently, God knew. That night, His words pierced through my heart and touched the core of it. =’)

2) First service @ EXPO Sunday, 10am. Felt good to be back there and see my friends! :) Loved the service. :)

3) Finally able to go church together with CHANG again!!!!!!!!! :) Like the old times. :) I missed him!

4) Quite happy with my pace of revision… Err though sometimes amount of effort put in may not be proportional to grades obtained.

5) Finally touched the soil of CITY HALL… Lol… You don’t know how much that meant to me man.. Hahaha… Sorry Vink for waiting for me! But it was a great time huh. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the other hand, my attachment is starting next week. In conjunction with the infamous swine flu virus, all of us have to don Personal Protection Equipment (PPE) attire every day!!!!! That includes an N95 mask, gown and gloves (I think).

SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think)

My dad has been quite concerned over that. Erm, he’s basically concerned over my entire nursing career. Must be wondering “What’s with her and her freaking nursing decision?!”

Haha.

It’s my calling and I feel it’s my responsibility to be a nurse. It’s an adventure altogether, dealing with life and death.

Whatever threatening microorganisms there are, however mutated they are, we just gotta be there! Salute to all the nurses!!!!!!!!!! (Of cos not to myself since I’m not one yet haha)

And doctors…

 

And please, take care of yourself. I think they are busy enough already soooo… Stay healthy. :)

Do not cough or sneeze into the air and special mention, do not burp into people’s faces and try to close your mouth when you sleep too. LOL! (Especially you-know-who. =P)

HAHAHA. I still love you… Lol…

It’s 6:37am.
Good morning. :)
(I haven’t said that for a long time.)

 

I’m eating my usual cornflakes + chocolate milk + organic almonds.

Why am I up even before the sun???

Reason being…

 

I haven’t freaking slept the entire night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reason being…

 

My mind couldn’t freaking stop working!!!!!!!!!!

 

2 hours of tossing and turning was kinda torturous as my mind and body just couldn’t coordinate. Had an influx of thoughts gushed through my mind like how a mudslide would flush an entire village. (Too much Discovery Channel =P)

I thought up a list of reasons

 

1) Why the term “musician” shouldn’t be used too loosely. It’s not merely someone who plays music.

Like taking care of your sick parent doesn’t make you a nurse.

For that I don’t consider myself to be a musician or a nurse at the moment. And probably am nowhere near.

 

2) Why the new generation of nurses is so gonna revolutionize the entire hospital system in Singapore.

The first thing that needs to be changed, in my opinion, is the public’s impression of nurses outwardly. At the mention of the word “nurse”, what comes to your mind?

Before I entered nus nursing, I had a generally negative impression of nurses. To me a nurse is merely someone who looks erm.. quite fat with short permed hair and a scrunchy face.

What scrunchy face?! Pardon me for my lack of vocabulary + sleep, that was a rather spontaneous word which came into my mind when I visualize the faces of those nurses in my impression.

To create a scrunchy face, contract all your facial muscles and look into the mirror. There you go! Lol…

Furthermore, the present generation of people is relatively ‘rebellious’, in a good way I suppose. We no longer do things blindly as told. We question the rationale behind every implementation. We ask “Why is this freaking done this way? Why can’t it be the other way?” For this, I foresee widespread badmouthing from the ‘experienced’ nurses.

The first batch of nurses are gonna graduate from NUS this year. They are like the infantries going into the battlefield with many arrows pointing towards them. They are probably gonna be hit the hardest. All eyes would be upon them.

I also like it that doctors have little say in how nurses work now. I believe that we have our own roles and responsibilities to fulfill. Therefore it is good that we do not interfere too much into each other’s business as to cause discord.

I like this verse.

But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more; ¹¹ that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands,

1 Thessalonians 4: 10-11

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Collaboration and teamwork are keys to working harmoniously, providing optimal healthcare services to the public. *ahem*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wah, so slogan-like…
LOL…….

I sound like a very ON nurse when I’m not even one. Hahaha.

 

Ok my bio clock is messed up now. This is the “sleeping disorder” that I mentioned in my previous post. It came to past! I seriously hope the rest on the list won’t manifest themselves. Lol…